For a long time now I’ve held the view that many of society’s biggest problems can be traced back to one huge problem; the majority of parents being miserable failures. Even though it makes me feel old, I find myself saying “My dad would have wore my butt out if I had even thought about doing that” more and more when I see other children in public. I was no perfect child by any means, but there are a lot of mistakes I only made one time because my parents did their job and punished me in ways that made me not even consider doing it again.
Throw a fit in a grocery store because Mom wouldn’t buy me candy? One time and then never again because I got popped on the ass and embarrassed in front of everyone the first time. Now you can see kids whining for 15 minutes while their parents act more like buddies than parents by shyly saying “Not today honey” over and over. When I worked at retail stores in college I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to say “If you’re not going to whip him I’ll be glad to do it for you so he’ll shut up”.
Glenn Beck’s article today makes some excellent points and ties into our society’s [lack of] parenting problem. His article focuses on how personal responsibility seems to have disappeared starting with our “Parents”, the government.
Our government is leading us by example, and I don’t mean that in a good way. For years, it has spent us into oblivion, mortgaging our future for programs we can’t afford, and Americans have happily followed suit, running up credit card bills and home equity loans for things they never should’ve bought.
Unfortunately, we’re also learning something else from our government: how to avoid taking responsibility for our actions.
It’s bad enough that people are willing to blame/sue anyone and everyone except ourselves for our problems (i.e. suing McDonald’s for hot coffee), but when they are also a parent that all too often translates into how they raise their children. Parents cannot seem to understand that their failure to discipline children at a young age teaches them that it’s ok to rebel against authority because there will be no repercussions. As they grow older the basic problem remains the same, but the resulting actions become much more serious than crying about not getting candy. Just a couple of examples from Beck’s article:
A woman who says she lost more $1 million gambling in Atlantic City sues some casinos for $20 million, claiming they should’ve stopped her compulsive gambling. People who bought houses they couldn’t afford with loans they didn’t understand want their lenders to change the terms.
Hardly a day goes by without a story that proves how adults are not taking responsibility for their own actions. What’s more alarming though, are how often I see stories about children who have picked up on that trait at a young age. For example, the parent’s of a student in Virginia successfully sued his school “for bruising and humiliating him”. When I was a child here’s exactly what would have happened in that situation. When my parents found out that I got paddled they would have asked why (if my teacher hadn’t already called to tell them) and when I told them I got in trouble for disrupting the class they would have paddled me too.
Was paddling at school, home or in public humiliating? You bet, that was the main point. If doing something wrong resulted in you being humiliated chances are you aren’t going to do it again. Did it scar me for life, cause me to become depressed, lead me to commit suicide or any other asinine result that sites like NoSpank.net and SchoolCounselor.org claim? NO! It taught me (and most in my generation) right from wrong and, more importantly, how to take responsibility for my own actions which has translated into my adult life. I am extremely thankful for the discipline that my parents and teachers gave me as a child because it’s helped me to become the responsible adult I am today instead of being one of the irresponsible “adults” that are quickly becoming the majority in our society.
If the discipline I experienced was so horrible, what should the alternative be? Well this idiot (Oh no, I used a “negative” word) has some great examples, if you want your child to grow up as a selfish, emotional train wreck waiting to happen who takes no personal responsibility at all. News flash Peggy, children are not equals of adults and should not be treated as such. They should be treated as children who are still learning how to be adults. When they have properly been taught how to be an adult (which those examples do NOT do) then they are ready to be treated as an equal. While there has to be plenty of time for love, hugs, etc. there also has to be a time for stern punishment. Tip that balance too far in either direction and you get a catastrophe.
As more and more children that were not properly disciplined enter our society as adults, the less personal responsibility we see. The problem is not paddling or any other form of “cruel” punishment. The problem is parents not doing their jobs and pathetic sites like the ones mentioned above that have the gall to support them. Unfortunately with parents it’s a lot more complicated than saying “You’re Fired”.